A friend, from way back, says to me, “no good deed goes unpunished.”

A newer friend says, “I think it is great, I think you should keep writing; but if it is causing you pain, and causing your family pain, you should stop. If you were my daughter I would tell you to stop.”

With my dead father, I had the following hypothetical/imagined conversation, “Dad, what should I do?” to which he would say “Well, time will tell which choice was the best choice. You will never know in the moment.” I honestly can’t remember any time my father told me what to do, although he frequently helped me figure out what I should do. Now, “self, what is the right choice, the right thing to do? What is the higher moral ground? The “self improvement” categories?”

Is it better to be manipulated by those who hate you or by those who love you?

Easy answer. Lean into the love.

New friend says, “You inspire me to get all Rachel Maddow on my town and school too.”

Note for novel development: Continued dialogue while sewing (photographs onto paper) about a utopian stance of co-existence. We can all live here right? It’s not really just “your way or the highway” is it? Co-exist. Let’s allow for the presence of multiple tellings. It is not a thing to hate. BOLD: Other novels, tv shows, and books have been written by novelists and memoirs about Frelinghuysenfolly! I embrace all of these stories and tellings. Wasn’t it great when Ry asked the chinese woman to be the native american in the bicentennial parade? This is a brilliant memoir! Ry’s historical writings in the paper/memoir made me embrace the past, and the change!

A new friend, says “Oh, got it. But, what they want is to drive you off.

Drive you off, drive you off, drive you off…. sounds so Jersey. Hey- Jersey is hot entertainment- this is a marketing fact! Jersey is a national “commodity;” people love a good jersey story.

Three women, who have all been bullied by the current administration, called yesterday and asked to take me out for a burger. They said, “I heard you might need some support.”

Here is what another old friend said that inspired me to keep working on this project. She, a fellow literature devourer, says:

“Wow, I completely misunderstood. I thought the sad mean person was a character study that you were doing. I didn’t realize it was a real person??!!! I feel so much pity, to lack so much…”

Same friend offers even more of a “reading” that is really brilliant and inspirational for me as a writer (since of course we write alone, and beg for readers, and disguise how the manuscript is built behind the blog site). She said this:

“Ok, after further reading I love this character. I don’t care if he is a real person. He needs to be in the book – the cynical anarchist who just couldn’t stop himself from being a madly inspired anti- activist blogger. It is a contradiction too good to pass up. As a self proclaimed anarchist, he “doesn’t give a damn” yet he is thrust into action with an intense unstoppable paranoid passion. He is a super paradoxical tragic figure with a self image out of kilter with reality. As a character, this is a real keeper. You may have to tone him down slightly for the beach reading crowd.”

So to blog or not to blog… the answer is– the story isn’t finished yet, so I just can’t stop. There is no doubt that elected officials fed information to this Scott character blogger, fueled this blogger to view me as some sort of enemy of the state (and the fabric of our town). I bet they did this in email, phone and conversation. But I don’t need to prove that, it’s just the way it goes in my story.

I love the MI-5 series produced by the BBC for television. It’s like Sutherland’s 24, but better. In the 8th season, there is an episode where the most powerful person to both Russia and the UK, was a poet activist. She was the element both needed to contain for different reasons. She understood this completely; her poetry of injustice was just too powerful; she ends up killing herself. Of course in the next episode, there is an activist who captures all the billionaires and holds trials about their injustices on the internet and allows the viewing public to vote to decide who dies and who lives. Both these fictions terrify in their extremism.

Utopia is about balancing extremism with moderation- much like a well balanced diet. You are what you eat, what you consume. Opt for many, not one. But for right now, this blog is accepting your comments, but will not be posting them.

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